I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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