I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize