i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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