I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
