Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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