Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
