On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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