I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
