I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
She's not a foreskin expert like you
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
