her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
