I heard we made out
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
