i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize