Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
