Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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