he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
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You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize