at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
