Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
