woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
