I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
