so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
