matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
