Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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