I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I think my fart just growled at me.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
