Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
