tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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