It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
