She's JV to your varsity
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
