Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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