you win again, gameday.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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