Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize