making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
