hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize