so that wasnt chicken after all
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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