That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
