you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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