Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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