In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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