Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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