Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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