but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
