I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
