Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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