You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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