I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
