i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
