I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Just fell off a train. Bad.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
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my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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