Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
