break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
