Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
