sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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