We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
