i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
