Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
