she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
