Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
