Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
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