New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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