DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
