puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
