Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Randomize
