Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
dude. I can hear the air.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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