how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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