Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
