Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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